Words of Wisdom or Foolishness

I was searching for a new place to live.
She kept recommending places but I really wanted to live in Shibuya (Hachiko)
I showed her these puri kuras I took of my two new housemates (Really hot asian and white girl)
and we looked like we were having a lot of fun.
I told her about how one of the girls is good at fashion, styling hair and drawing.
I told her that the new housemate was really excited to be able to style my hair and that normally she only does it on dolls.
(My gf had recently wanted to style my hair and I said it was OK)

At this point she tells me, after you style your hair, I don't know if I will like you anymore...
Then I said, "what does liking someone have to do with physical appearance. I would like you no matter how you styled your hair or how you looked. Tell me the truth about what is going on!?!"

"NO! I don't have to tell you because it has nothing to do with you."

I responded with "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that again."

She looks me in the eyes and repeats everything she said.

Then I said, "Are you jealous of me? Why are you jealous?"
She says "Yes, I am jealous."

Shortly later she breaks down with "Today, I just found out my friend is going to die soon and you come back and tell me all about how much fun you had with 2 girls."
I felt bad and I started comforting her. I told her I know how she feels, and I have been in that situation before. I asked her if she would like to know what I did to get through it.
She tells me a story about how this dying friend of her and her were planning on eventually opening their own Yoga studio together. Now she will still do it, but her friend will not be there to see it.

Then as she is lying down by my side she said, "When you move into your new place, you won't need me anymore. You will always be busy and will have a lot of fun so we will have less time to meet. When you move to your new place, I want to break up with you. I always want to spend time with you but my job doesn't allow that. Since I entered your life, I took away your freedom, your time with your friends and all the fun you could be having. Darling, I want you to have fun! You are soo young and innocent. I just wish I met you at an earlier time in my life. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you."

John from Japan:
Where is the girl I fell in love with? Where is the girl I spent the best weekend of my life with?

GF:
That was an illusion. This is the real girl.. I have been wanting to say this for a while...


Unable to control my emotional outbursts of anger and realizing this was only a test I lashed out with :
John from Japan :
" Well, I am terribly sorry but I am unable to sit here and wait and anticipate the day my heart will be completely torn from my body with one fatal blow so I must leave you before that day. I have to go back to America."

GF:
" You just found a wonderful place to live and got a new job. Why would you want to throw that all away?! I don't believe you. You are ridiculous!"

John from Japan:
"You will believe me when I am up and out of your life."

GF:
"No!! Don't GO! I want to be with you!"

John from Japan:
"You know what... you are ridiculous."

With that said, the night silently rolls away as we both try to sleep crunched together in her cozy little apartment. Both persons mind wandering aimlessly wondering what was in store for the next day. How or can we recover from this chaos we got ourselves into?

The next morning, I continued the silent treatment and she also remained quiet. Suddenly, before she left for work she asks,

GF:
"Can we go on a date tonight? I get off work at 7:30PM."

John from Japan:
"Okuribito" (This is a movie that won an academy award in Japan)

She smiles and gives me a passionate kiss but since I was emotionally distressed, I didn't return the favor. She knew she fatally wounded me with her ice pik words last night.

Searching for words of wisdom I first seeked the internet's advice.

"How to break up with someone you are deeply in love with?" I typed into the yahoo search box.
Almost nothing appeared... well nothing useful at least...
Every advice on break up usually had something to do with a fight or hatred towards the other person.

Frustrated with my results, I turned to the only people I saw online at the time; Rizzle (my ex-girlfriend of 3 years who knows me better than anyone and Wis.. some dude I met from playing Starcraft). Only hearing my side of the story, Rizzle said that it was up to me to decide what I want and if my girlfriend is holding me back from how I want to live my life, I should break up. She continued by mentioning that if I don't feel the same way, I need to mention it and if my girlfriend can't understand and is still jealous, she needs to live with it. She needs to learn trust. Trust is important for any relationship and in order for a relationship to work, it must be there in some form or another. You both need to seriously think about this before you talk with each other. It is important that you are not mad when you are contemplating how to continue.

Wis' wise advice was I can only guess since I don't know the details but I think she is scared to hurt you. Scared that she might hurt your feelings. She sounds like she wants to break up with you because she wants you to be happy and life your life the way you want to. Or she can't take it because you will be spending time with other girls.
Without rationally thinking about my decision by myself first I looked for more advice from my 3 PUA friends in which 2 recently took the PickUpAsia RMS seminar (Relationship Management).
I figured if anyone knew what was best for me, they WOULD!

The entourage:

"After hearing your story, I can tell you that she already doesn't love you anymore. She said she wanted to break up with you so she doesn't care about you. You need to realize that your relationship is already over and you need to move on! There are sooo many women out there that are better for you! If her CTL (Core Temperate Level) is high enough, she will do anything for you. She will want to be with you no matter what happens. If your CTL is around 100, you are definitely in love. You need to keep your CTL just below that so you won't get hurt when you leave the relationship. John... you are currently over 100 and she is only around 50. She already lost interest in you a while ago. Remember 6 months ago when she wanted to break up with you because she was "DEEPLY IN LOVE and afraid she was pregnant; she didn't want to ruin your life?! This is when she first lost interest in you or she is too confused herself to realize what she wants. "

After their ALPHA PRIDE SUPER ULTRA ADRENALINE RUSH X 100 Pep Talk I told them that she always mentions we shouldn't be together because she has never loved someone as much as me and eventually we will go our seperate ways neways so we should end it soon before it becomes too painful.

"She worships the ground I walk on. She loves everything I do, every little comment I make, even my small facial expressions. She is always there for me and she has always supported me in good times and bad times. Even to this day, she still behaves exactly like this!" I blurted out in order to refute these 3 guys.

The Entourage's Response:

"Look, girls are not stupid. They were born to know this shit. Have you ever read a girl's magazine? It is filled with all this stuff and believe me, she knows this material better than you would ever know. She knows how to make you happy, how to keep you, what to do in order to push your buttons. And she also knows you way better than you think. She knows that once you move to Shibuya, you will start fucking many other girls to the point were she will become irrelevant in your life and you will eventually throw her away and leave her.

John from Japan's rebutle:

"Bullshit!! I love this girl!! I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt or harm her! I wouldn't want to leave her. It hurts me more than ever to leave her!"

The Entourage:

"Your saying that now, but when reality hits, you will leave her in a blink of an eye. She realizes that soon you will be able to get many other women and she wants to leave you first before you truly hurt her. Realize that she stopped loving you a long time ago. Dude!! Wake up!! She already left you out to dry 6 months ago, traumatized you and you went crawling back to her. She had complete power over you and she will do it again!"


John from Japan:

Dude!! But if I weigh the Pros/Cons

Pros:

She satisfies all my sexual and wildest desires
She speaks to me in Japanese
She remembers all the things I love and buys them for me
She will help me in time of need
She loves every part of my body, my movements, my actions, my expressions
I enjoy every second, minute, hour, day, month spent with her
She cooks me all my favorite food
She does my laundry for me
She introduced me into her life by teaching me the wonders of Yoga
She tries to make more time in her schedule to spend time with me
She is beautiful, brilliant and intelligent
She gives the best massages and really helps me relax when I am stressed
She always supports me (even when it is not something she likes)
She is interested in my hobbies and wants to take an active role
I finally met someone in my life that I was comfortable enough to tell my secret fetish to
She loves and appreciates all the little small things I do for her
She treasures all my writings (poems, letters, etc.) despite the fact I feel I am not a great writer.

Cons:

She only uses simple Japanese with me and the more difficult Japanese is all said in English
She is very mysterious and sometimes I feel I can't trust her
She doesn't trust anyone (her words said this in time of anger but her actions seem to show otherwise. Unless she is trying to test me.)
She doesn't seem to believe me when I tell her things
She treats me like a child
When she is upset, she lashes out on me even though I didn't do anything wrong
She doesn't tell me how she feels or what she is thinking
She wants to live in a fantasy world
She feels that eventually we will break up so we should do it soon before we both end up in more pain
She doesn't treat the possessions that I truly love with respect
Many times she is unwilling to compromise

There are many more pros than cons.

The Entourage:
"Yeah, you got a lot of pros but look at those cons. You can't trust her!?! WTF!! She doesn't trust you? She can't trust anyone?! Those are immediate disqualifiers. She was damaged material from the beginning and you can never stay with a girl like that. You guys are done! You need to understand your relationship is over!"

John from Japan:
" Well.. I don't have work this whole month so if I spend time with her I can change her mind and get her to realize how much I really do care about her. Besides, what am I going to do? Pretend I am happy until the 29th because I have no were to live until then... All my stuff is at her place. But actually, I am not pretending because I still love her from the bottom of my heart and it kills me inside knowing I can't be with her."

Shine:
"Look, you can try to repair it but if you did, your just slowing down the inevitable. You guys are already finished and there is no point stalling it out. I have a place out in Kamakura and my roomate just moved out so if you need a place to crash until the 29th, you are welcome to my place."

John on Japan hyped on super crazy brainwashing pep talk:"Aiite! Fuck it!! Who's down for going to my girl's place right now and cleaning out all my shit before she gets back from work? She get's off around 7:30 PM and we had a date to go watch Okuribito. She is going to be in the shock of her lifetime when she realizes all my shit is gone!"

The Entourage :

"Let's do it!"

7:05 PM we arrive in Sangenjaya (My girlfriend's place)

Project completely evacuate the girl's place in less than 20 minutes before she comes back and realizes what happened commence!



18 minutes later....


The Entourage:

" Is that it? Have we gotten everything? Ok, this is what you do.

U meet up with the girl.
U hand her the keys and say "I had a fun time. Thank you."
and you walk away.
No more words..
THAT'S IT!!

u never talk to her again, you never contact her again, u never see her again. And you DEFINITELY DEFINITELY don't read the emails or pick up the phone calls she gives you.

*Now The Entourage and I are waiting in Shibuya to transfer to Kamakura when I realize we will never get back in time for me to say my goodbye before she realizes everything out of her place is missing. So I give her a call and say the first words of the day which were, meet me in Shibuya to meet up to go watch Okuribito. She refuses because she says it is out of the way and she needs to shower at work first arguing that there is no point going to Shibuya. It's just a waste of time and we need to watch the 9:30 showing in Ropponggi. Then I thought, fuck how long is it going to take to go from Kamakura back to Ropponggi and decided ok, where is the closest place to Shibuya we can meet? She told me Ebisu and we arranged a meetup for 8:30 giving us 30 minutes to wait for her. By now she realizes something is up because I was stuttering when talking to her and I was very wishy washy about the meetup arrangements. I was 100% positive, she knew what was going to happen.*

The guys and I headed over to Ebisu and I noticed there was a lovely fountain outside of the train station that screamed this is the perfect place to break up with her. We then located a restaurant in which they would get a perfect view of the breakup from their restaurant above on the 5th floor.

"If you take longer than 5 minutes we are running out there to rescue you and get the fuck out of there!"

screamed the Entourage as I mustered the courage to do this last final, bold and daring move.



30 minutes passes by.....

This girl with her head down low, sad, depressed and realizing what was about to happen, timidly came into the vision of my eye.

Feeling quite confident from the pride boaster I received her, I managed to wipe the dripping sweat of my hands, erected my body, pumped up my chest and gave her a BIG HUG that screamed I love you more than life itself in which she viciously grabbed my hand and started dragging me toward the train station.

At this point, I took her right hand, placed the key that was properly concealed in my pocket in her hand and said "I had a good time." Shook her left hand, "Thank You."

and walked off into the darkness of the night to rejoin my boys for comfort.

She started dragging onto me saying, "I need to talk to you." in which I abruptly ran a red light to ditch her out of my sight.

1 second later..

The cellphone rings..
I don't answer it.

3 minutes later the cell phone rings again as my boys are congratulating me.

"I'll take that", Newlight said as he promptly confiscated my cellphone and removed the batteries from the compartment.

It was over!! I did it! Man I felt I had the courage to kill 1000 lions. We then headed out to Kamakura to start a new life.

That is my story.





Two Days Ago I either completely liberated my body and soul pushing myself beyond my normal level of comfort or shattered my heart realizing what I did will be eternally painful and only time will allow it to heal. Has the game already consumed my life to the point where any relationship is virtually impossible to hold on to?

Am I already past the point of no return?

How do we win the game?

Day 1 (Getting off to a fantastic start)

In order to break my AA with opening Japanese women, I decided until this month is over to open at least 10 sets a day. This could mean actively searching for girls walking around or just open that girl that is sitting next to you in the train, on the bus or in a restaurant. I managed to open 11 sets today and for the sake of brevity, I am only going to go into detail about sets that were either funny or went somewhere because opening could just be asking a girl what time it is and then ejecting so here goes!

HBSneakAway (6)

While on the bus, I decided this would be a perfect opportunity to start opening. First I see a woman in maybe her mid 40s and without hesitated (immediately after getting on the bus), I ask her if she can speak English because I am writing a paper and I would really appreciate if she helps me translate something. She responds "No, I can't" so I immediately eject but not before I noticed HBSneakAway noticed my little conversation. Luckily for me, when I asked HBSneakAway the same question, she responded with "a little". This tells me game on! So I start first by asking her to translate the sentence, "luckily for you, I happen to have my English flash cards on me." She then began to spit out some Japanese that was completely off and I realized that her English level was zero to non-existant. I started to cold read her by telling her that She seemed quite friendly and was not afraid to talk to a stranger but if we started to talk in English she will become shy.

John from Japan : You seem cool, friendly and comfortable even when your talking to strangers but I bet if I started talking in English you would become shy. But, you are probably the leader in your group and I can see your a wild one.

HBSneakAway : Really? Actually I am quite shy.

John from Japan: Well speaking of those flash cards, I actually have them with me... Let's see how good your English ability is.

HBSneakAway : Ok. Let's try!

John from Japan: pulls out some English cards in which 1 English word is written in the middle of the card. In this case, I pulled out the word "fun". "Try to make any English sentence with this word."

HBSneakAway: I like to do fun!

John from Japan: O really? You mean you like to do fun things? For example what do you do for fun during your free time.

HBSneakAway: I like tennis, ping ball, basically all the sports. I am really into sports.

John from Japan: That's cool, I also like tennis too. I use to play tennis back in High School. You seem cool and I read this interesting personality test in a magazine before, you interested?

HBSneakAway: Yeah! I love personality tests! (ALL JAPANESE GIRLS ARE SUCKER FOR THESE)

John from Japan: Run's personality test (but doesn't get to tell the answers cause by that time our 20 minute bus ride was coming to an end) I didn't have the exact change for my bus fare so I had to wait to get change. I figured she would be waiting for me but I was completely wrong! She was slowly walking away to whatever destination she initially planned on going to.

John from Japan (running up to catch with his set)
Hey, are you free right now to hear the answers to these questions?

HBSneakAway: no, I'm busy.

John from Japan: That's a shame cause these answers are quite interesting and I would love to tell you them over a cup of coffee. What are you doing now?

HBSneakAway: I am gonna go shopping.

John from Japan: O ok, cool! Can I join you cause I'm free right now.

HBSneakAway : Sure, but I need to go withdraw money first.

John from Japan : No problem.
(I wait there with her in the convenient store while she withdraws he money)

HBSneakAway : So what do you do for a living?

John from Japan : I talk to random strangers in order to improve my Japanese.

HBSneakAway : O so you are studying Japanese.

John from Japan : Yes and I have to tell ya, you have been really helpful.

HBSneakAway: Ok, well now I need to go renew my train pass.

John from Japan : O ok, but damn I don't have a train pass...

HBSneakAway: Then you can just wait outside it will be quick..

*We both start walking to the train station, she goes in and I wait outside for her.*
While waiting I pick up some nearby travel guides for America thinking I can DHV myself with these. Then I notice her eyes glaring at me through the window.. (O shit! She is checking to see if I was still there! I guess she just wants to ditch me..) After a good 5 minutes pass by, I see her sneaking out of the train station and just walking off...

(In my mind I was thinking, oh fuck... this HB6 set opened and how the hell am I gonna get rid of this girl cause I'm not interested But she apparently was also thinking about how to get rid of me :P)

Set 2
HB Promoter

*As I walk by her*

HB Promoter: Eikaiwa no AEON desu. (This is her promoting her ad for an English conversation school. Since I am Asian-American, I look Japanese and she figured I was a potential customer.)

John from Japan: (In English) Excuse me, do you happen to know what time it is right now?

HB Promoter: (Shivering and nervous) responds with "umm.. its about 6:35 PM."

John from Japan: Thank you very much

(Wow, even promoters are nervous when speaking in a foreign language despite the fact that they approach thousands of people a day.)

The rest of the openers weren't that interesting.

Things that worked:

going into a bookstore and picking up a comic book opening up an older women saying, "excuse me, may I ask you a question?" Do you think it is good for me to read comic books to improve my Japanese? I use to study from textbooks but my Japanese ends up being really textbook like and it doesn't sound natural."

going into a coffee shop and opening with "excuse me, tomorrow I have a going away party with my co-workers and since I am not acustomed to Japanese culture, can you tell me if it is necessary to buy a going away present?"

Things I learned:

Saying that I open people for a living to practice Japanese was probably the reason she ran away from me.

Some shy japanese girls just can't walk away from you and need to come up with ideas to ditch you. LOL

Prologue

After being in the game for a little over 2 years, I have decided that I am sick of my "complacent" lifestyle with my regulars and realized there is more to the game than just picking girls up from clubs or other night venues. That is why I immediately dropped all my regulars except my main girlfriend which I love from the bottom of my heart to start over anew. Unfortunately for me, my playing field is Japan and Japanese is not my native language nor can I speak it well so this definitely adds to my AA. In fact, in America I don't really have any AA opening random strangers because I am quite comfortable speaking English *LOL* but in Japan, even opening guys cause me to shake and tremble as I am about to open a GUY.


This blog is mainly for me to examine and break down my sticking points but if you randomly stumble upon it and feel like you would like to comment, by all means.

Welcome!